... You'd never have them! That was the words of wisdom that my mom gave me when I vented my recent frustrating revelations to her. Makes sense but doesn't solve my worrisome mind. First off, I realized that I have totally dropped the ball on this pregnancy. I have no plan for after the baby is born. We didn't plan ahead of time that we would need supplemental income, which I supposed would come in the form of short-term disability insurance... which, by the way, Texas does not require, therefor if you don't buy it yourself ahead of time, you don't get any. I guess I didn't think in my head that maternity leave would be unpaid. I don't know why, but it never crossed my mind. Strike one for the first time mom. My husband and I both have decent paying jobs, live well within our means, and treat ourselves when we deem necessary, but other than that really do try to keep our savings account where it needs to be, and we definitely plan ahead for major expenses. So, before we started trying to get pregnant we took out an indemnity policy for me to supplement our crappy health insurance. We've been paying on it for well over a year now, of course, and have not used a penny of it... making it seem like wasted money to me, but I know in the end it will help. However, the thought never crossed my mind, like I said, that we would need to get short-term disability insurance. Crap. Now I'm paranoid about taking my maternity leave. How long can I afford to take off? Should I try to keep working somehow since we live so close and it's a family business? How much can my body handle?
This brings me to worrying revelation number two. When I go back to work, who's going to take care of our baby?! We live in the middle of nowhere. I'm serious. Our town's population is about 300 on a good day. We play 6-man football because we could probably only barely make an 11-man team. So, needless to say, there is no day-care. There is a small one, but of course, it's full! Why wouldn't they be? There are plenty of other mom's in GC that have the same needs that I do. The nearest town is 30min one way, so that's not an option. Especially not on our budgets. So then.. what? Do I try to find someone to do in-home care? And even then, who? Plus, how do we even afford to pay someone after we already lost out on my income for at least 6 weeks probably?
Revelation number three... I suck at this preparing for a baby thing. I'm so worried right now and I don't like to be. It makes me regret our anniversary trip, even though I still stand behind the fact that we needed to do that for ourselves. Then, Christmas is around the corner... and yes, you don't HAVE to buy people presents, but come on.... plus, we have a big family... lots of gifts. To make matters worse there are still so many things for the babies room that we need, besides things we register for. Thank goodness I have a crib and can borrow a bassinet.
How do first time parents cope? How do you keep from going crazy? How do you afford a baby?!
Goodbye Trusted Friend
7 years ago
HA!! Trust me, you guys are FINE. We make it on my salary, which I assure you is a joke compared to what you two make. So to answer how do you make it...you just do. Sure, things are tight and we budget. We buy Target formula and diapers. I divide EVERYTHING by the ounces to see which is cheapest (for instance, Target diapers are cheaper by 1 penny each than CostCo, so Target it is). Secondly, you take help in every which way that people offer it to you. As for the day care...I was BEYOND stressed I wouldn't find one for Liliana, but it worked. I know you have less options, but just be proactive and start NOW. Put yourself on the waitlist for the Garden City one NOW. Then, maybe by the time your maternity leave is up, they'll be an opening. How about taking off 4 weeks and then going back part time? I didn't really get a maternity leave of any sort and to be honest, I regret that more than I can say. Email me if you ever wanna talk more about it girl...oh and, don't you dare regret that anniversary trip. Like I've told you before, I wish Evan and I would have had the opportunity to take a baby moon. We did take a 1 day trip to Santa Fe, but I spend the whole evening near the toilet, not exactly what I had in mind! haha
ReplyDeleteLet people help you!! You are blessed to live in such a wonderful community, where people actually still help each other out. Ask around about day care or a nanny or in-home care. Someone will have some leads for you.
ReplyDeleteAs for the money part, this is when we learn that while I would LOVE/NEED a new pair of jeans, I'll just make do with the ones I have since formula, diapers, baby Tylenol, and day care add up quickly. (P.S. If breast feeding works for you, do it. It's better for baby and way cheaper. I couldn't do it, and formula is EXPENSIVE.)
Also, keep in mind that most store brands are just as good as name brands when it comes to buying stuff. We got a lot of clothes from 2nd hand stores & e-bay. The everyday wear & tear that little ones put on clothes isn't worth spending bug bucks. Save that for special occasion outfits!
You guys are level-headed and down to earth. You will make it work!
We are doing it on one income, you will be just fine :) It is amazing to look back and think... "my parents made this look so easy!" Learn to coupon, it will save a bundle. (I am happy to help you find all the resources you need for that) Don't worry about money... God will provide, continue to tithe :)
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