Thursday, July 29, 2010
- My boobs hurt, all of the time. Going over a bump in the road, or walking really fast, is a bad idea, and it hurts. This makes sleeping very difficult. You can't lay on your stomach, duh, and even laying on your side squishes one of the girls enough to wear it hurts too bad. I have to find that perfect position and that usually takes a while.
- I pee all of the time. As if I didn't have a small enough bladder before! Now I probably go every hour to hour and a half, depending on my liquid intake.... which by the way, you're not supposed to decrease your fluid intake, as the baby needs water, so you'll just have to deal with going to the bathroom more! Oh, and this makes sleeping even MORE difficult.
- My skin is terrible. Now, it's never been great, but now I am so oily and I am breaking out all over. Thank you hormones....
- I'm hungry all of the time. I now eat breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. No lie. If only I had had this appetite pre-pregnancy, maybe I could have gained some weight!
- Google is my best friend. Every time something is weird or I think it might be harmful, or I just wanna know if it's normal... I google. I also frequent baby/pregnancy sites such as babycenter.com and parents.com. They're my friends.
- Keeping my pregnancy a secret is just about the hardest thing ever. I have already leaked out to a bunch more people than I had originally planned... oops. It's just so hard! Especially when people ask... I mean, what am I supposed to do? Tell them no I'm not pregnant? I don't think so!
- I'm tired all of the time..... speaking of, it's almost 10pm which is my new bedtime. Yes, you heard me right, 10pm. Oh, and I also take a nap at lunch now. And, when I get off of work I feel as if I could take a nap then too!
So, that's about all that I have come to realize so far. I'm sure more things will pop up and change as I get further into my pregnancy. Oh joy! =) Darren has been amazing... seriously, amazing. Last night I got a full body massage! Ahhh... Well, time for bed now! Goodnight!
"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. " ~Romans 15:13
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Ok, so now, not to freak you out or anything... We still have peanut (as far as we know at least, still one more week until we go to the doctor). We still have Pearl. Everyone is alive. So, now, what could be that bad?!
Friday morning is when I tested positive, and Friday afternoon is when I took another reassuring test. We were elated, over the moon, so freaking happy that we were pregnant. But, we couldn't share it with anyone yet! Frustrating!
Friday night my dad said that we needed to have a family meeting. He sat me and my brothers down at my grandparents picnic table and delivered the news. He wanted to let us all know that my mom had a malignant tumor outside of her lung. See, about a year ago or so she fell off a horse and broke her hip. At the time the doctors were concerned about her breaking a bone at such a young age, so did a bone density scan and a CAT scan to see if there was anything else wrong, or if she needed to be on some sort of bone loss medicine. All of the bone density stuff came back fine, but they saw a spot on her lung. It was small and the doctors were not concerned about it at the time, but told her to keep coming back for checkups on it and what not. A little over a month ago she went back in and the tumor had grown a great amount. The doctors were worried and so did a biopsy. A month ago her results came back - it was malignant. She then contacted my Uncle, who works with hospitals, and had him help her get an appointment with the doctors at UCLA. At UCLA they were not pushy to have her surgery soon, even though they agreed that it needed to come out. So, she made an appointment with MDAnderson in Houston, the number one hospital for cancer patients. Leave it to the Texans to be better than the Californians, hehe.. Today she had her appointment. The doctors said that the tumor was surprisingly a normal thing, and that it was a single occurrence. She had a scan done and they did not find any more tumors in her body. They called her tumor a T1N0, which google tells me means that T(tumor) is size 1 (2 cm or so), and N (lymph nodes) is 0 which means they are not affected. They are going to do her surgery on Friday, and the doctor thinks he can do it with the camera-scope, whatever that's called! I'm so technical, don't ya know!
After our conversation with my dad I didn't know what to think. We have had too many friends/family members die from cancer. I could only think the worst. Thank goodness the good Lord has answered our prayers!!!! We are so happy that she is going to be ok, and well, although there is still that slight chance, the doctors are really positive that this will be she has to battle.
I know that I probably should have worded things different on this post, seeing as I probably freaked you all out, so I apologize. However, it was a total brain flow and I should probably be working, haha.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good!
I sent my mom this bible quote this morning:
"Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10
Monday, July 26, 2010
How far along?: 5 weeks and 1 day, just entering my 6th week!
Total weight gain: 2 pounds... but that's from eating more, lol.. and boobage, if that's a word. ;-)
Maternity clothes?: Negative, although we may need stretchier pants if I keep eating like this... oh and new bras. ;-)
Stretch marks?: Nope!
Sleep: I go to bed earlier, but that is because it takes a lot to sleep. My boobs hurt too bad to lay in certain positions, making it difficult to sleep! Plus I'm tired all of the time!
Best moment this week: Telling our siblings! We're slowly but surely letting out the news! Seeing my belly after a huge meal... I seriously looked about 12 weeks pregnant! Darren loved it and kept rubbing my belly, hehe...
Movement: No again!
Food cravings: Tomatoes... seriously, I eat one a day, which if you know me is a MAJOR improvement.
Gender: Happy and healthy is all I care about, although a girl would be nice!
Labor Signs: Negative!
Belly Button in or out?: Still a nice innie!
What I miss: Not having sore boobs, drinking as much DP as I'd like...
What I am looking forward to: Our Dr. appointment next week!!!!!!!
Weekly Wisdom: Telling your family and friends in different ways is lots of fun!
Milestones: Our baby's heart will start to beat this week, or maybe it already is! I wish we could hear it, but next week we should be able to see it!
I'll update most of these often, but some (like clothing size and what not I'll only update with a change)
- Hips: 33"
- Waist at belly button: 29"
- Breasts: 35" (that's a whole inch gain since I measured myself for Leslie's wedding!)
- Bra Size: 34C, with no padding. Padding makes the girls say hello!
- Pant size: 3
- Shirt size: Small
- Weight at start of pregnancy: 113.6
- Current weight: 116!!
Friday, July 23, 2010
How far along?: 4 weeks and 5 days, but Carylon calls this my 5th week because really it's the 5th full week! First week was June 20 - June 27, Second week June 27 - July 4, Third week July 4 - July 11, Fourth week July 11 - July 18, Fifth week July 18 - July 25!
Maternity clothes?: Bah, not yet! However I might need a new bra if the girls keep up at their current pace of growth! ;-)
Stretch marks?: Well duh..... not unless you count the ones on my butt that are already there, lol!
Sleep: I'm tired all the time so I have been definitely sleeping, but then I have to pee so I get up in the middle of the night - totally annoying.
Best moment this week: Telling our family!!!! We've known for a whole week now, can you believe it? It was so hard not to burst at the seams when we found out and tell the whole world!
Movement: I'm pretty sure "peanut" or "chip" is not big enough for that yet! I had some cramping, but luckily nothing severe, and not accompanied by bleeding or spotting - hooray!
Food cravings: More like food aversion. I'm not nauseous but I just don't feel like certain things. I have been eating more tomatoes though - woo hoo!
Gender: Darren wants a girl, and secretly so do I, but more that likely it will be another Hillger man!
Labor Signs: That would be the worst thing right now because it would be miscarriage! Yikes.
Belly Button in or out?: These are definitely made for women who are further along than myself, lol... it's an innie!
What I miss: Nothing yet! =D Just happy as a clam!
What I am looking forward to: Telling the rest of our friends and family, going to the doctor for the first time...
Weekly Wisdom: Don't waste your money on multiple pregnancy tests. haha... If you get two positives, then you're probably good to go! I took a total of 5! Oops...
Milestones: Finding out! haha... Telling our parents... Making our first doctors' appointment!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I called my mom and told her and she was equally as excited! The whole morning Darren said I looked happier than I had in a long time. Well, duh! ;-) We decided to not tell anyone else at the time because it was still way early and I had only taken one test, and well, tests can be wrong! Cristina texted me after lunch and asked if I had tested, so I had to answer! I couldn't hold in the good news! She suggested that I take another test right then because then it would really prove to be positive as your hcg is highest in the morning. I went to my grandparent's bathroom, did my deal again, and a minute later.... 2 pink lines!!!! I was ecstatic! This had to mean it was true, we really were pregnant!
We kept our good news a secret as long as we could - which was not long at all! As soon as we got back to Texas we bought picture frames for our parents. They say "A grandchild is a gift from above, one to cherish and to love." We then took the fake picture out and turned it around and wrote "Picture to arrive somewhere around March 27, 2011!! Love, Kristen, Darren, and Baby Hillger". We wrapped them up and left one for my dad for when he returned from New York. The other we wrapped up and had Andrea & Scotty come over to open. We told them that we had a present for them from New York, hehe... So they came over, and we gave them the frame. They opened it and Andrea immediately says "oh my gosh!" and then starts crying! They were both very excited! They've been waiting to be grandparents for a while now (oops!), and they knew what trouble we were having, so it was even more exciting to them!
When my dad got home he opened his frame. He called me and said "Hey, it's gramps!". hehe.. Him, Maggie, and my brother Adam were all super excited! I was so thrilled that everyone was so happy for us! We then planned out who we were going to tell next. We knew we had to tell Darren's brother and his wife Leslie, because they too knew about our journey. We called them and Darren told Trey that he was going to be an uncle! Trey said some cuss words, hehe, and Leslie started bawling and then talked to me for like 30 minutes. Needless to say they were equally as excited as everyone else!
We are looking forward to our first doctors appointment. Right now it still doesn't feel real. My only symptoms are that my boobs hurt and are huge, lol. I had cramping for a few days but that subsided. I never had any spotting, thank goodness! I'm tired, but that was to be expected! I still can't believe it..... I keep having to tell myself that this is really happening. God knew all along when we were going to be parents, and unfortunately I was not patient enough to wait on him. It's funny how everything falls in to place... Speaking of! We're moving! Right before we left for New York we got a call from the owner of that big country house that we wanted to rent (I think I talked about it in an earlier post) that we were first in line if we wanted it! The price was DEFINITELY right.... I'm talking cheap for a 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom, 2 living area, 4 car garage, on about 300 acres. We said yes of course, and little did we know that we would be needing more room!!!!! Ah, I still can't believe it! We are waiting until after our first doctors appointment to tell other friends, and then probably we'll tell facebook too, hehe. It's so hard to keep it a secret! We want to shout from the rooftops! We'll definitely keep this blog updated from now on with new developments and other wonderful things! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Carylon has still not heard back from the lab about my progesterone from cd20. We're both anxiously awaiting the news! From what I've gathered, if it is low then my body's preparing for my period, and if it's high then my body's preparing for pregnancy. Either way will not give me any definitive answer, but it'd be nice to know still! ****Update: Carylon just found out! My progesterone level was 26.6 which is good she said. I asked if it meant anything and she said "not really, just that you should have enough progesterone to build endometrium and hold a pregnancy." So, that's good, right?! Sure! I'll take it!**** I'm still waiting on taking a pregnancy test, mostly because I am so nervous, and also because it's still a tad early. They always advertise that you can get a result "5 days before your missed period!".... then you read the fine print: Only accurate 15% of the time, or whatever. haha. Since I think I ovulated on Sunday the 4th, then I wouldn't implant, on a 7 day average travel time, until this past Sunday. Then your body needs time for the HCG hormone to double before you'll get a positive result. I told Darren that I will test before we go to New York because I just really want to know before then! So, stay tuned!
When I googled "bible verses about worrying" I found this neat article:
I've spent an awful lot of time in my life worrying. I've worried about grades in school, job interviews, approaching deadlines and shrinking budgets. I've worried about bills and expenses, rising gas prices, insurance costs and endless taxes. I've even worried about having my home in perfect condition for "company," and within seconds of their arrival, the house is turned upside down and no one even notices.
I've worried about first impressions, political correctness, identity theft and contagious infections. In spite of all the worrying, I'm still alive and well, and all my bills are paid. Over the span of my lifetime, worrying accounts for hours and hours of invaluable time that I'll never get back. So, I have decided that I'd like to spend my time more wisely and more enjoyably. If you're not convinced yet to give up your worrying, here are four biblical reasons not to worry.
Worrying Accomplishes Absolutely Nothing.
I don't know about you, but I don't have any time to waste these days. And worrying is a waste of very precious time. Worrying won't help you solve a problem or bring about a solution, so why waste your time and energy on it?
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.Worrying is Not Good for You.
Worrying is destructive to us in many ways. It becomes a mental burden that can even cause us to grow physically sick.
Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
Worrying is the Opposite of Trusting God.
The energy that we spend worrying can be put to much better use in prayer. Here's a little formula to remember: Worry replaced by Prayer equals Trust.
And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Worrying Puts Your Focus in the Wrong Direction.
When we keep our eyes focused on God, we remember his love for us and we realize we truly have nothing to worry about. God has a wonderful plan for our lives, and part of that plan includes taking care of us. Even in the difficult times, when it seems like God doesn't care, we can put our trust in the Lord and focus on his kingdom. God will take care of our every need.
That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?
So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
1 Peter 5:7
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Today was cd20, so I had to go back to Carylon's office to have my blood drawn to check my progesterone. While waiting for the, we'll call her blood lady because I don't know her title and that's all she's done for me, there were 3 girls in the waiting room that I was eavesdropping on. All looked to be about 17 or so at the most. One of the girls was filling out her paperwork and the other two were just friends along for the ride I guess. Apparently the young girl had just found out she was pregnant and was coming for her first appointment. While filling out her papers she turned to her friend and asked "what's a pap smear?!". OMG. I nearly lost it. Now I know I may have been more advanced than others when I was a teenager because my mom, but come on... You're pregnant and you don't know what a pap smear is? You're not even old enough to start going to get one? And I'm not pregnant?!?!?! So, I had a mini pity-party and then told myself to get over it because I was wasting my thoughts being frustrated by that girl. Oye.
Everyone's asking me when we'll find out if this round was successful or not. It's just as hard for others to wait as it is for us! Last night while shopping, Andrea and I walked through the kids section and ooo-ed and awww-ed over all of the cute little kid clothes. Mainly girls clothing. For some reason little girl's clothes are just so much cuter! hehe.. It's sad to me that they are so ready to be grandparents and we're not delivering - no pun intended. Oh, I crack myself up. ;-)
In other news, it's still raining like crazy, Jessica's baby shower is tomorrow, and yes I am going.... and that's about it! We have less than a week until New York and I can hardly contain my excitement! I forget if I've blogged about this yet or not, but while there I hired a photographer to come to my grandparents house to take family portraits for us. I am pumped. We have never, I repeat, never... not even at my wedding... taken a Farrington family portrait. It is very important to me since we don't know how much longer we'll have my grandparents with us as their health is fading. They are in their mid 80's after all. So, this will be awesome. She's a great photographer, from what I've seen on her website, so I am really looking forward to it! Lastly, I started (again) getting everything together for my application to A&M for my master's... eek! I'm ready to get it all in probably in the next few weeks! Whoop!
Next week maybe we'll know more. Judging from my progesterone level we should also have some sort of inclination whether Aunt Flow is on her way or my body is preparing for baby!
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. ~Psalms 62: 1-2
Thursday, July 8, 2010
It's going to take a lot of prayer.... I'm talking a LOT. Wouldn't it be nice if all of this worrying was for naught?
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. ~Psalms 61: 1-4
Monday, July 5, 2010
I still have yet to get my appointment with Dr. Phy. I even tried going to her office today while we were in Lubbock, but of course it was closed. Dang Independence Day! Carylon suggested we go ahead and make an appointment in the mean time with the Dr. she suggested in Lubbock, so I guess we may go in that direction, just to have a Plan B.
Other than that things are business as usual! We had a great weekend with our family for the 4th. Friday night was an awesome benefit for the Texas Hooter Honey's, a group that participates in the Susan G Komen 3 day walk for breast cancer. We danced the night away into early morning! I love our annual 4th of July celebration at Britni & Marcus' grandparents house, and then we did a big party at Scotty & Andrea's house. Thank goodness we didn't have work today so that we could recuperate, but I spent the whole day driving to and from Lubbock with Britni and Andrea. I was their chauffeur while they got their eyeliner tattooed... crazy girls!
Let's hope we can make it through the next week without going crazy! ;-)
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." ~Romans 12:12
Friday, July 2, 2010
I thought that I would take a moment away from "Baby Hillger" and focus on us for a bit. I've always wanted to have a written record of what I like to call our story, so that one day when we're old and forgetful, we'll remember how we got to where we are today! This may be long, and I'm going to try to include relevant pictures, so here we go!
First off, I've already talked about God's plan, and how Darren was put on this earth specifically for me. I truly believe that. So, God knew all along where I would go to college and why.... I met Darren before my freshman year of A&M even started. I moved in to the dorms a week before classes began in August. My best friend from second grade was already living in College Station, so called to see if I wanted to hang out with her. Of course I did! I was all alone in my dorm room and didn't know anyone, duh... haha. So, she picked me up and we went over to where her boyfriend was at, which just so happened to be Darren's house. We walked in and went to Darren's bedroom where all of the guys were. They were watching remote controlled airplane videos, which I thought was a little dorky, but ok! I don't even remember if they introduced us at that point or not, but either way, we went and played tennis. The main thing I remember is thinking Darren was pretty dang cute! After that night we began talking here and there, mostly when I would hang out with Mo and Keith. Then one night we went to a concert together by Phil Pritchett at Hurricane Harry's. We went back to Melissa's townhouse and played drinking games. When it came time to go to sleep they stuck Darren and I together on the pull out couch. All innocent keep in mind! We ended up talking for a while, and each of us kept inching our hand closer to the other until Darren finally grabbed my hand. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing and snuggling the rest of the night. The next day I was so scared that he had just done all of that because we were drinking. I really liked him and was hoping that he liked me just as much! Turns out he did! He asked Melissa for my phone number and called me to ask me on a date! We went to lunch at Fitzwilly's, our favorite burger place on Northgate. We went on lunch dates several more times after that. September rolled around and we went together to Brownwood for a music festival and to spend time with Jenae's family. We held hands at the festival and that night he came into the girls room and gave me a kiss goodnight. It was our first legitimate kiss, haha. I remember the butterflies that I felt. It was the most amazing feeling in the entire world! After the Brownwood weekend Darren finally asked me out on a dinner date to Johnny Carino's. This night was amazing and I remember not wanting it to end. Our conversation never ended, and flowed so naturally. It was like we had been dating for years. Finally, after several dates and what not, Darren came over to my dorm and officially asked me to be his girlfriend on September 26th. I remember thinking when he asked me, "well, duh I'll be your girlfriend.. what did you expect?!", haha, but I didn't say that outloud!
Time in our early years of dating was awesome. We hardly ever fought, we always wanted to be around each other, and we just were so comfortable together. It was hard to resist the urge to say "I love you" too soon... well what we thought was too soon. We would be together and say "I love... being with you." or something similar. We kept up this charade for a few months before I finally gave in. Yes, I said "I love you" first! We were about to leave for Christmas break, and although we had only been dating for less than 3 months I had known in my heart for a long time that I loved him. So, I gathered up my courage and told him. Darren was silent for a few minutes, which made me totally nervous. He then said "I love you too", and then explained that he was just so happy and glad that I loved him too, and that's why he hadn't said anything yet. Talk about making a girl scared, haha. I was just so happy that he felt the same way I had. He later told me that he had wanted to tell me those three magical words for quite a while too, but was afraid of scaring me off - yeah right!
Leaving as husband and wife!